I Walked Out

Right before I found the job I am currently doing, I found myself at a working interview for a company basically being an answering machine. I would answer the phone for business owners or doctors, and relay a message to them from customers or clients.

I was on my second day. Training was going awesome! I was really getting the hang of it. My two trainers were very impressed with my progress. I knew I had this job in the bag. Then came the moment that altered everything. They started to discuss a cruise they both wanted to go on. One of the trainers was pregnant and she was voicing her concern on not being able to drink on the cruise. My second trainer proceeded to tell her how she drank during her pregnancy and it was no big deal. Her child had "turned out fine".

I'm going to be completely honest with you. I've encountered this moment more times than you would believe. Most of the time I will admit I jump on the opportunity to school someone on the effects that drinking during a pregnancy has. I am a very passionate person. When I disagree with someone else's views, I get hot headed and want them to see it my way. I've come to the realization in this point in my life that exerting all that energy on this situation mainly leaves me feeling upset.

So that day I chose to walk out. I thanked them both for the effort they put in to train me and let them know that this just wasn't the job for me. Now had I been in a position where this was my only job opportunity, or I needed the money to pay bills right away, I may not have made that decision. Thankfully I was in a position to make that choice. It was important for one reason.

That reason is because FASD is taboo subject. Most people have never even heard of it. So you are CONSTANTLY going to be put into situations where you will feel the need to defend yourself and your diagnosis. DON'T let others ignorance rally you up. You owe NO ONE an explanation or a debate. You are who God or this universe made you to be. Now that may mean you were given some harder roads to travel than others. That's okay. You are going to travel those roads at your pace with your own kind of grace. You are perfect. You are worthy. You are special. You are kind. You are beautiful. You are wonderful. You are strong. That's it. I wish I could tell my younger self those words. I wish I could take back that time wasted arguing a wall and put it towards watering my garden so to speak. 

Like I said, I have had many moments where I have put up my defenses and raged a war about my diagnosis. I am human. I get hurt. I get angry. I get defensive. I guess in time you tend to feel out who the people are that are going to take your words and make a change from it.